repeat after me:
1. our immigrant families are not just ‘homophobic’ they are also ‘colonized.’
2. our parents have histories, genders, and sexualities, too.
3. they are just as broken as we are (but we have the words — i mean the english — to say it)
4. the diaspora responds to racism with heteronormativity
5. trauma seeps through generations
Very important to hear. Even more important to support and validate!
"Many abused children cling to the hope that growing up will bring escape and freedom. But the personality formed in an environment of coercive control is not well adapted to adult life. The survivor is left with fundamental problems in basic trust, autonomy, and initiative. She approaches the tasks of early adulthood—establishing independence and intimacy—burdened by major impairments in self-care, in cognition and memory, in identity, and in the capacity to form stable relationships. She is still a prisoner of her childhood; attempting to create a new life, she reencounters the trauma."
— Judith Herman (via funeral)